“Golf is a game where you shout ‘fore!’ and four more shots are magically added to your score.”
“My golf game is like a horror movie: full of slices, hooks, and bogeys.”
“Golf: the only sport where you can play like crap and still feel like a king.”
“I don’t need anger management; I just need a better golf swing.”
“Golf is the art of yelling ‘fore’ while hoping for a miracle.”
“My golf game is like a bad haircut: embarrassing but impossible to ignore.”
“I play golf just to remind myself why I shouldn’t take up a career in professional sports.”
“My golf swing is like a yo-yo: up, down, and all over the place.”
“Golf: the only game where you can lose a ball in the middle of a wide-open field.”
“I don’t play golf to win; I play to avoid embarrassment… usually unsuccessfully.”
“My golf game is like a rollercoaster: thrilling, nauseating, and best enjoyed with a drink.”
“I’m not a bad golfer; I’m just on a first-name basis with the hazards.”
“Golf is the art of hitting a ball with a stick while trying not to look like an idiot.”
“My golf game is like a fine wine: it gets worse with age.”
“I play golf for the exercise… and the excuse to drink beer before noon.”
“Golf: where a good walk is spoiled by a little white ball.”
“Golf is the only game where you can spend more time looking for your ball than actually hitting it.”
“Golf: the only game where you can spend hundreds on equipment and still play like crap.”
“I’m not a golfer; I’m a professional seeker of lost balls.”
“Golf is the art of gracefully accepting defeat… while secretly plotting your revenge.”
“Golf: where every hole is a chance to prove that miracles don’t happen.”
“Golf is the only sport where you can turn a beautiful day into a complete disaster.”
“Golf is the only game where you can curse like a sailor and still be considered a gentleman.”
“I’m not saying I’m a bad golfer, but my handicap is my golf swing.”
“Golf: where the only thing shorter than my temper is my attention span.”
“My golf game is like a bad dream: I keep hoping to wake up, but it just keeps going.”
“Golf is the only sport where you can spend more time in the woods than a lumberjack.”
“I don’t need therapy; I just need a better golf game.”
“Golf: the only game where you can start off as a hacker and end up in the hall of fame.”
“I’m not a golfer; I’m a professional at finding creative ways to lose.”
